“It’s never far from my thoughts – what if I hadn’t put my hands up or had that wobble? Made that cry for help? Where would I be now? I wouldn’t like to answer that question.”
It was on or around December 2022, having suffered a traumatic brain injury and still in ongoing rehabilitation, that Mike G, a former Royal Marines Commando, thought he was coping and progressing well.
This couldn’t have been further from the truth.
“In essence, I now know that I was having a mental breakdown,” recalls Mike. “I had become isolated from my family and friends. So much so that I had lost all confidence in the ability to look after my young daughter.
I found myself turning to alcohol more frequently, as is sadly so common in such situations. It truly never helps. Whilst under the influence, I found myself calling and texting everyone and anyone who would listen. I now know this was escalating into a cry for help.
Luckily for me, one of my former Royal Marine buddies reached out to me and referred me to RMA – The Royal Marines Charity. Having already been diagnosed with severe depression by my GP, they organised a placement for me on one of the personal development courses offered by HorseBack UK in Scotland.
This proved to be a pivotal step on my personal road to recovery – not only for me, but for my family.
As I drove there for the first time, I was very anxious but my scepticism regarding horses soon went and I started to feel more relaxed than I been for a long time. I was managing to smile and laugh, I was even able to hold down a conversation, something I had been avoiding for so long.
My thoughts were changing rapidly, becoming very positive. I began to realise I was still worthy and still had something to give. After only one week, I was buzzing again. On driving out of the farm on the Friday, I stopped at the bottom of the road, got out of the car and found myself crying my eyes out uncontrollably.
I had just had the most profound experience, and week, of my life.
On returning home, not only did I feel my outlook on life had changed, but my family hadn’t seen me this happy and focused for far too long. I couldn’t wait to go back and finish the programme. Horseback UK not only helped me deal with the here and now, but also to build up the tools needed to cope with and manage the present.
It’s never far from my thoughts – what if I hadn’t put my hands up or had that wobble? Made that cry for help? Been referred to HBUK? Where would I be now? I wouldn’t like to answer that question.
I came to realise that there is sometimes someone worse off than yourself, but we all have our own battles.
To this day I continue to recover. I am still in regular contact with all the other attendees I met and crossed paths with. Checking in if you like, because if I hadn’t been checked in on, then who knows?
Due to the help, support and understanding from the Charity and HorseBack UK, I finally realise, I do still have something to offer I’m not a bad person after all. I owe them back so much. For giving me the opportunity to get my mental health back on track, but also for making me believe in myself again – and most of all bringing back my smile.
Purpose and community are two words and have a tremendous meaning in my mindset every day. To date, I continue to build back up my relationships with family and most of all my daughter. This is very important to me.
I no longer – and will never again – turn to alcohol. I have the correct positivity and positive mindset now. Daily, I have purpose to tell myself “Today is going to be a good day”.”
